by Matthew Sterne
on April 4, 2016
2 min read
  1. So some people like to believe Africa is some kind of special place. 
    Serengeti Africa sunset
  2. But those people are dreaming.
    Rainbow with elephant
  3. It’s not even mildly pretty.
  4. The sunsets are mediocre at best.
    Sunset party in Africa
  5. There’s absolutely nothing breathtaking to see here.
  6. No impressive landscapes.Lone_Oryx_Standing_On_Dune_Namibia
  7. And no remarkable animals.
    Gorilla in Africa
  8. You can’t even get that close to them, anyway.

    Elephant in front of two people at Old Mondoro Lodge (Photo by Marsel van Oosten)

    Photo Credit: Old Mondoro Lodge

  9. The birds are just OK.
  10. All the animals are basically the same.
  11. You call this a big cat? Oh Africa, please.
  12. The trees are stupid.
  13.  I mean Namibia is mostly sand. Sossusvlei-National-Park-in-Namibia
  14. And Botswana is mostly water – suppose that’s expected in the world’s biggest inland delta though.
    mokoro trip in Botswana
  15. Victoria Falls might be the largest waterfall in the world, but who likes tons of cascading water in an exceptional setting?
  16. And Kilimanjaro might be the biggest freestanding mountain in the world, but who wants that snow-covered giant as your backdrop?
  17. The Serengeti is way too big.
    Serengeti giraffe and wildebeest
  18. And those Indian Ocean islands are way too small.
  19. But this one is too big.
  20. There is no history.
    Pyramids and Sphinx in Egypt - Sam valadi
  21. And no famous icons.
    nelson-mandela-African icon
  22. It has close to no traditions.
    Himba tribe in Namibia
  23. There’s never anything to do.
  24. You can’t even find a good place to eat.
  25. Let alone somewhere good for a drink.
  26. And stargazing is not even a thing.
  27. The children aren’t even friendly.
    Friendly African children
  28. The cities are nothing special.
  29. The houses are dull.
  30. And so are the roadsides.
    Ostriches in South Africa in forn of Canola
  31. Honestly, where is the thrill in this? Balloon_Safari_Wildebeest_Sunrise-Africa
  32. Or this?
    Great White Shark Breach near Cape Point
  33. Damn open fields.
    Maasai warrior walking in a field
  34. Told you those sunsets were mediocre.

  35. I’d rather watch a Friends re-run.
  36. Seriously, why would anyone want to visit Africa?
    OK, we joke. Obviously, you should come to Africa! Did you not see the photos above? If you’re thinking about it or would like to know more, just drop us a message and we’ll put you on the path to the wonderful places of Africa.